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name only by calling
it Jungle Jamboree. Again, kids get to exchange tickets
for worthless prizes.
But I did say two-year-olds.
To prove I have one foot planted in mid-air, how about
the two-year-old who makes a path with Linus blanket
in hand to that thingamajig at the supermarket door
that dispenses those plastic transparent eggs. For
a quarter a young tot can win an egg containing a
bracelet, a cheap watch, but most likely a 3¢
ring-more on that below. These vending machines are
classic slot machines.
So is it true gambling?
Absolutely. Courts have found that every gambling
apparatus must consist of three components; consideration,
chance and prize. The child pays something of value
(consideration) to use the vending machine: if he
wins he receives something of value (prize), usually
less than the amount bet; and the outcome depends
on chance. Because all three elements are present
on the vending machines that dispenses these plastic
eggs, this would be considered a true gambling device.
Granted, I doubt anyone
would arrest or even put the kibosh on a child for
playing grocery store slots, but I do wonder why these
vending operators have gone uncontested for so long.
Who owns these cash cows milking kids out of quarters?
By the way, Ronnie, vis-à-vis
some insider information, the cost of those plastic
egg prizes produced in Asia is about 3¢, and
there is only one true prize (junky watch) per two
hundred eggs. Our offspring are up against tougher
odds than the tightest one-armed bandit.
The stimulation to gamble
does begin early for many children, well before an
arcade adventure. And what parent in his or her right
mind is really going to say no? We have to be quarter
generous to our kids. They will be choosing our nursing
home.
Dear Mark,
When casino executives mention both the "handle"
and "hold" of a slot machine, what do they
mean? Al R.
The "handle"
is the total amount of all coins played through a
slot machine. The "hold" (also called "win")
is the amount the casino held as profit. The "yield"
is the casino's win expressed as a percentage of the
profit.
Dear Mark,
Every week I enter all kinds of contests. To this
day the telephone has not rung to acknowledge that
I'm a winner. Do you think the phone will ever ring?
Russell G.
According to Roxy Roxborough,
czar of the Las Vegas handicappers, "Your chances
are a million to one that any one telephone call will
be financially rewarding. Compare that against the
caller being a telemarketer or an undesirable in-law,
three to one."
Your best bet, Russell, is to leave the answering
machine on.
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