A blackjack
dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether
or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer. The player said, "When I get
bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the
dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?" The
dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?" "Yes."
"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me."
"OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for...I'll take an eight."
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A
guy walks into a bar and notices three men
and a dog playing poker. The dog
is playing beautifully. "That¹s a smart dog," the man says. "Not
really," says one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand, he
wags his tail."
( from Poker Nation, by Andy Bellin)
The
strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone
in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older
workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
"Why
don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet
a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding
that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're
on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The
old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding
to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
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One
day, at a casino buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He
swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby
table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing.
He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around
the boy's gonads, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back
to his table as though nothing had happened.
"Thank
you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"
"No,"
replied the man. "I work for the IRS.
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A
man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?"
demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are
men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man
pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What
do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"I'm going to Las Vegas
with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!"
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