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$100, the casino¹s
goal is accomplished. Except, Doug, I hardly think
that one of sane mind would be smiling about it.Realize
that casinos are green felt jungles and you¹re
playing war. The gurus of guerrilla gambling will
tell you that you fight back only by making bets that
have a 2% house advantage or less. If you do, you¹ll
stand a better chance of: turning the tables
back in your favor, staying in action longer, smiling,
and yes, stopping the plinking of your hard-earned
cash into the casino¹s piggy banks.
So, here you stand, near insolvent, with just $100
remaining, and quite possibly someone near and dear
saying, "I told you, but
you just won¹t listen." Here is what most,
if not all the gaming experts, Yours Truly included,
would recommend you play:
Blackjack: Played with perfect basic strategy.
Craps: A pass line bet with odds or placing
the 6 or 8. A pass line bet and placing the 6 or 8.
Both have a house advantage of
less than 1.5 percent.
Video Poker: Good machine selection, and again,
perfect basic strategy.
Baccarat: Betting either the bank or player hand.
The house advantage is 1.17% when betting the bank
hand or 1.36% with
a player hand wager.
I have just mapped out
the avenue most experts would take with their last
$100. Nevertheless, if you are down to your last
$100, one of two things has probably happened. Either
your evening¹s allotment of luck has gone way
south, dooming even
your last $100, or your play has been so apocalyptically
bad, despite the advice of gurus, that nothing can
come out of it but a
post mortem.
So, the $64 ($100) question remains. If I personally
were limited to making just one play in a casino and
had just $100 left,
what wager(s) would I make?
Too easy! Whether or not a professional sporting event
is preceded by the national anthem, by golly, you
can get action on it in the Silver State. And since
one of my passions is open wheel racing (IRL), my
one wager would be on the Indianapolis 500, sitting
in a sportsbook for three hours sipping free cocktails
and watching grown men (and woman, Sarah Fisher) making
left-hand turns while wasting methanol. Yet, the gambling
public may not share my fixation for boredom, so here¹s
plan B, a
point-spread wager on your favorite sporting event.
Now park your tail end in one of their cushy chairs
and enjoy the game.
Whenever you place a point-spread type wager, you
lay 11 to win 10. That means if you want to win $100,
you have to wager $110 (borrow the extra $10 from
your spouse who is probably winning, or, just bet
the $100) no matter which team you are betting on.
If you win, you will collect $210 -- your $110 wager
plus the $100 winnings. The 11 for 10 commission,
also called
a vigorish (a.k.a. vig), is the compensation taken
by the house on every sport bet wagered. You might
need to scrounge about in your lint-filled pockets
for a couple quarters to enjoy the $1 hot dogs, or
those denizens of the deep, 99-cent shrimp cocktails.
Then there is plan C: Betting the ponies. A $2 wager
on an equine long-shot overdue for the glue factory
can be an inexpensive
diversion when the casino is pounding the hell out
of your bankroll. How hard is it to spend ten minutes
with a Racing Form,
and then guess? Gitty up!
And who knows, Doug, you might actually calm the near-and-dear,
put an extra $100 in your hip pocket, enough to put
you
back in action to fight another round guerrilla style,
making ONLY those bets that have less than a 2% house
edge.
Gambling quote of
the week: "I wouldn¹t put a red cent
in a slot machine, and the only time you¹ll see
me at a craps table is when I¹m running it."
Amarillo Slim
 Good
Casinos Home
More Columns By Mark Pilarski
Have a question? Ask Mark pilarski@markpilarski.com
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