High
table minimums and low table maximums
Dear Mark,
Casino Windsor has high table minimums and low table
maximums. Is this a player advantage? Danny B.
Quite the contrary, Danny.
It's a huge advantage for the casino, and here's why.
Casinos win for two reasons. First, a statistical
edge (percentage advantage) on each and every game,
and second, they have a whole lot more cash and staying
power than you do. For the latter, it's a simple concept
called "gambler's ruin." In essence, it's
how long will it take you-with your limited bankroll-to
lose everything to a casino, which has a relatively
infinite wad of cash. So even if you do have a short-term
winning streak, Danny, when the house has this infinite
stake, they can, and will, always outlast you.
Now to your situation playing the high minimums/low
maximums limits.
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Dear Mark,
If I were to hit $1 million on a progressive quarter
slot machine, will they pay me all at once? Dave G.
Forget borrowing Uncle
Fred's three-quarter-ton pickup truck to haul off
42,000 pounds of quarters. Look at the machine closely,
Dave. A sign placed inconspicuously on the machine
will read something like "Progressive Jackpot
paid in 25 equal installments. First installment paid
upon validation of win."
One exception is a statewide progressive machine in
Nevada, and other locations, called "Cool Millions."
Bet 3 bucks, line up 3 ducks, and you win "the
first million" instantly. Now if you get your
ducks in line, Dave, make them pay you in $100 bills.
They will weigh only twenty and a half pounds.
Dear Mark,
How come I always lose when I'm drinking with my buddies
vs. sober and winning by myself? Bradley S.
Casinos are fundamentally
democratic institutions where all are welcome, united
in the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of losing. Free
drinks (chip remover) which have always been part
of the casino ambience, speed up the process. Then
there's Brad, gambling with friends, raised testosterone,
elevated male bravado and sipping hooch, not for pleasure
but gulping for effect. What do you expect, Bradley?
I'll tell you: the demise of a normally sensible gambler!
All bets are off on the quality of your play, Brad,
when influenced by any intoxicating beverage.
Dear Mark,
I witnessed something amusing recently in a casino,
someone sprinkling salt all over a slot machine. Did
she really think this would bring her luck? Edith
C.
By sprinkling salt, this
superstitious gambler was trying to make the machine
pay off by using salt's association with money. It
comes from ancient times when workers were paid with
salt, called "salarium." We know that word
today as salary.
Now my own personal feelings about (a) luck and (b)
superstition. When it comes to the goddess "Lady
Luck," I'm an atheist. Smart wagers bring luck!
I have a saying, Edith, if you will: "The smarter
you play, the luckier you'll be." Salt to me
has more value disguising my own cooking, not showering
a machine with it.
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